I’m not usually hungry in the mornings, so when I found myself craving breakfast in the shower one morning, several things occurred to me: 1) most types of food you can eat in the shower are good for you, 2) ergo, eating in the shower is good way to stay healthy and save time, and 3) cleaning up is easy. So if you tend to eat daily and take showers on a regular basis, and want to learn how you too can adopt this healthy lifestyle, read on!
Why eat in the shower?
Eating while showering is the foundation of a healthy lifestyle, but until now it’s only been known to the filthy rich and very silly. Sure, your food choices are limited, but that’s a good thing. Most shower-inappropriate foods are not at all healthy. Cake, cookies, potato chips, hamburgers and french fries lose their appeal when drenched in warm water. You are gently forced towards a diet of fruits and vegetables, perhaps cheeses too, and the occasional bonbon. Salty, sugary, fatty toppings like mayo, ranch dressing and ketchup are washed away.
Being naked while eating has it’s benefits as well. One becomes more aware of their own weight when naked, providing that extra incentive to eat less. Cleaning up spills is much easier too. You are already close to a bar of soap, so who cares if you spill a little on yourself. No laundry, and no need for that lobster bib.
One also tends to imbibe more water while eating in the shower than at a dry dusty dinner table. Splashing around with your mouth open eating damp food means you just need to drink 7 glasses of water a day instead of the recommended 8. Now if that isn’t a time-saving, I don’t know what is.
Sounds good. How do I do it??
First you’ll need to prepare your showering environment. Unless your drain contains a garborator, a strainer to catch large chunks of food is a must. You will also need some form of shelving for your food and drink. One of those wire shelves that hang from the shower head is a good start. Alternatively you can use hooks and place your food in strainers or mesh bags that can be hung-up. If you plan to eat anything that produces garbage (watermelon, apples, fruit-rollups), make sure you have a waste receptacle within reach. Finally, you may want to consider a small bottle of dish soap and a dish rack so you can wash up any cups and containers after you are done eating. (Tip: Don’t try to dry the dishes while the shower is running, especially not with a hair dryer.)
When preparing your meal, it’s a good idea to cut the food into bite-sized chunks ahead of time. Knives sliding around the bottom of the bathtub are hard on the toes. For beverages, you’ll want to consider a sports bottle to avoid excessive watering down. On the other hand, drink mixes that require just adding water can be mixed right in the shower!
When you’re all set to shower and devour, place your food on the shelves or hooks and get in. The goal is to multitask. Always be chewing and swallowing as you wash. If you like your showers hot, try to eat any foods that are better served cool first. Eating the messiest foods first is a good idea was well.
What types of food should I choose?
Choose foods that don’t soak up water and get soggy or get eroded by splashing water. Most fruits and veggies are great in the shower. They are usually grown outdoors where it sometimes rains, so they are naturally water resistant. Grapes, carrots (especially mini ones), green pepper, cucumber and lettuce, to name a few. (Tip: Lettuce can also be used as a makeshift shower cap.) Other finger foods you might find as hors d’oeuvres at a bris or seance work well, such as cheeses, pepperoni, hard-boiled eggs, and hotdog pieces with toothpicks in them.
Unfortunately most breads don’t fare too well in 100% humidity. Pita can withstand moderate splashing, and may be used by the daring SFFer, but in general it is best to avoid breads altogether. However, pasta loves moist warm locations, but you will have to forgo the sauce.
We all heard the expression “oil and water don’t mix”. Usually if it’s fried or dipped in oil, it probably won’t work in the shower. Fried foods are often covered in batter, breading or sauces that will wash away - the protective oil coating doesn’t prove to be water resistant enough. But some oily substances can be used to your advantage. For example, peanut butter, when used properly, can enhance the shower dining experience, especially when used to prepare the delicacy Ants on a Log.
Some “junk foods” stand up semi-well and might be worth trying as a treat once in a while. Cold, well-cheesed pizza might be okay, if you avoid spraying directly with water. Non-crispy chicken wings, the kind drenched in sauce, may not fair to badly either.
For those with insatiable sweet-tooths, you can get away with jelly-beans, hard candies, and if you are careful, chocolate bars and dense cheesecakes. You make loose a little bit due to splashing, but you shouldn’t really be eating it anyways, right?
(Tip: if you don’t like the taste of healthier foods, stick the shower head in your mouth to rinse the taste away.)
Do you really eat in the shower?
No. Of course not.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:13 am
You watch too much Wiggles Fruit Salad. And Seinfeld.